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What really counts about relationships with teens

Plus: Physical fluency

Author

Geoff Girvitz
December 12, 2024

Today on Dad Strength

  • Physical fluency

  • Therapy is therapy

  • Teen relationships and long-term health

  • A book, a quote, a dad joke


Physical fluency

I don’t like to spend a lot of time strength training. I’m able to pull this off because I’ve previously spent a lot of time strength training. I know that sounds like a catch-22 but that’s just skill development for you. I know my body well enough to be able to direct stresses to specific areas and then dance with those stresses.

Here are a few things you can do to increase your body awareness:

  • Set your position up impeccably at the top of each rep. If this feels slow initially, I promise that your speed will increase with your skill

  • Don’t rush, don’t overload. Find a version of resistance that challenges you but still allows you to feel what’s going on. This doesn’t mean that you should never push truly aggressively but save that for a highly intentional ~10% of your training

  • Learn how to engage as much of your body as possible with each exercise—and then learn how to dial it back to match demand

  • In contrast, when it’s time to isolate a muscle, know how to find the right loading (often less than you think) to ensure that other “helper” muscles don’t come to the party

  • Find variations of correct technique. This means having a Plan A and Plan B (and maybe a Plan C) for each exercise

  • Master constraints. E.g. it’s a lot harder to pitch forward with a zercher squat than a back squat and only touching your heel down on step-ups is radically different than placing your full foot down.

    Tools you can experiment with: variations in lifting speed, momentum, different weight distribution, different foot placement

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Therapy is therapy

I will be the first to tell you that—while I'm very pro-therapy on paper—not every therapist knocks it out of the park in real life. My experiences with physical therapy run far deeper than psychotherapy but I think that most of the lessons apply.

There have been many times where I’ve seen someone with a clear physical issue that is not getting addressed by a manual therapist. When they aren’t seeing someone, it’s easy to recommend therapy. When they are seeing someone who is not delivering, however, I have to tread more cautiously.

The truth is that the average practitioners is… average. There are amazing ones out there who will change your life and there are terrible ones who will set you back. Most are… fine and will help you navigate fear and uncertainty while providing clear steps forward and an authentic sense of progress.

Often, the trick is finding the right person at the right time. Personally speaking, it took me something like six or seven kicks at the can to find someone I really connected with—but the experience has been completely worthwhile.

Teen relationships and long-term health

A 2023 study looking at relationship data from over 15,000 participants shows that solid relationships between parents and teens are linked to improved health outcomes in young adulthood—including general health, optimism, and relationship quality, as well as lower levels of stress, depressive symptoms, and substance abuse.

Some of the big levers: warmth, communication, and time spent together. Also worth mentioning: inductive discipline—where an understanding of the why behind the discipline is clear to kids.


This stuff can be tricky. That’s why we talk it out every Tuesday.
To check things out visit dadstrength.com/calls 

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What I’m reading/listening to

The Secret Life of the Grown-up Brain: The Surprising Talents of the Middle-Aged Mind by Barbara Strauch

A Quote

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you….

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

― Khalil Gibran (abridged from The Prophet)

A Dad joke

Who’s your favourite vampire?

The one from Sesame Street

Oh, that one doesn’t count.

I assure you he does.

 

Take care of yourself, man!

Geoff Girvitz
Father, founder, physical culturist
dadstrength.com

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