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On reflecting

On reflecting

Plus: saving your breath and improving your grip

Geoff Girvitz
May 08, 2025

Today on Dad Strength

A simple strategy for healthy elbows and forearms
How to save your breath
On reflecting
A book, a quote, a dad joke

A simple strategy for healthy elbows and forearms

Have you got some chronic pain or soreness but don’t know why? One of the first places I’ll look is your movement toolkit. Chronic elbow/forearm/grip cases tend to come from using the same strategy (what gets activated, in what sequence, and with what intensity) over and over again. And one of the best ways to address this? Add variety an options

A common rehab exercise is to use resisted extension. Since we’re always flexing (closing) our fingers with force, this is a way to introduce resistance in the opposite direction.

However…It’s not my favourite.

I prefer to still close the grip — only with greater stretch. Here, we choose objects (or invest in equipment) that forces a more expansive gripping position.

Above are two examples of grip training tools that force a much more expansive finger position while still closing the gap. Simply varying up the grip surface (even if it means easing off the weight for a hot minute) can really change things for a fella and his cranky elbows.

A thing I legitimately like:

Henson Razors

A well-made Canadian safety razor. I opted in for the free blades for life. I’m not 100% sure that this was the most economical choice but I also know that I won’t be spending any more money on razors in the next few decades, so I’ve got that going for me.

Note: I don’t have a referral or discount link. I’m just sharing this product because I’m happy with it.

How to save your breath

We’ve all been there. You’re talking with someone — maybe a friend, a family member, someone online — and they position their argument about something high-minded. Maybe it’s fairness. Or justice. Or economic policy… something that you care about personally. So, you provide a thoughtful, well—researched argument that gets you nowhere.

Not all arguments are really about what they claim to be about. Sometimes, they’re about fear. Or habit. Or a need to belong. Sometimes it’s about status, or an unconscious bias. Sometimes, it’s just someone wired to be contrarian about anything that comes from a specific source. Lest we forget, being chronically online during Covid broke a lot of brains.

In these moments, I wonder what would happen if you found a way to gently say, “I don’t believe that this is your value.” I’ll leave the diplomacy to you — because this is already thin emotional ice. But it sure beats playing whack-a-mole with ideas… As if giving someone the right fact about something is going to change their mind.

What’s the advantage here?

You might find peace. Not every conversation needs your energy. If the person isn’t open to reflection, your logic won’t land. And that’s okay. The next best thing is exit with calm.

You might spark something deeper. Let’s say that the nucleus or motivator of a belief is racism, not fairness. The systems-level problem with racism is that it’s a waste of everyone’s time because, just like conspiracy theories, it is a continually moving set of goalposts that suck energy and attention away from effective action. But I’m sorry to tell you that you’re probably not going to create a life-changing epiphany with your wise words. What you can do, however, is create space for reflection and make it easier for someone to shift their identity.

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On reflecting

Have you ever watched your reflection in a mirror and changed something? Maybe your you corrected exercise technique or removed a piece of spinach from between your teeth. But have you ever acted as the reflection?

One of the most effective coaching techniques I know is to reflect things back. For dads, this is done when your kid has all the tools they need to do things right but may not see their error. In other words, it’s an awareness issue, not a a knowledge issue. That means they’re close to figuring things out but just not quite connecting the dots. In these moments, your role is simply to make it easier for them to see what they’re doing.

You can be a mirror by repeating things back (physically or verbally). If you need to support your kid as they bridge a larger gap, you can amplify mistakes enough for them to become obvious.