On Non-Action

• Fatherhood: On non-action

• Fitness: Build your pull-ups

• Focus: Anatomy of a break

• A book, a quote, a dad joke

  Fatherhood: On Non-Action

The Daoist concept of wu wei (無為) translates as non-action. In our lives, it fits into the places where our efforts to “fix” things are less effective than not doing anything at all. A lot of this has to do with letting our kids figure things out independently.

So many of our our worries about developmental milestones, early success, fulfilled potential, etc. get smoothed out by time — and marred by being too heavy-handed. So, the hard part isn’t understanding the value of non-intervention; it’s coming to terms with the moments where our desire to step is triggered by some kind of internal discomfort. Maybe action is warranted. Maybe not. But what are trying to address in these moments — and is it simply our own feelings?

Fitness: Build your pull-ups

Most of the advice on building pull-ups is… Well, it’s not that good. I think that the main reason is that we get fixated on the movement, not how to develop it. So, it’s a lot of negatives, assisted pull-ups, and lat pulldowns. Let me give you a much better approach:

• Practice hanging off the bar at the end of your workouts. Work up to at least a minute

• Work on your abdominal strength — with an emphasis on holding a flexed position. This could be from hollow-body hangs, slow reverse-crunches, or L-sits (bend your knees if L-sits are too hard at first)
  
  If you can't create enough rigidity in your trunk, you'll leak energy; it's like picking up your kid when they're asleep.

• Make inverted rows your main exercise. Focus on sets of 5-8, moving closer and closer to parallel with the floor (the closer to parallel, the harder things get).

• Once you can do 10-20 inverted rows at parallel (usually with your feet up on a bench), you can almost certainly do a pull-up

Focus: You don't have to fight down-time

Sometimes, I find myself feeling frustrated with my inefficiencies. I am messing about instead of working. Being inefficient instead of dialed in. You’ve probably felt the same way from time to time. Is it possible, though, that our brains sometimes need a break after periods of high output and efficiency? Is it possible that this low-output time is non-negotiable — and that the only question is whether we are stretching that period out by stressing about it?

What I'm reading

In Love with the World
The History of Adderall

Quote

“The expectations you bring to meditation practice are often the greatest obstacles you will encounter.”

—Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

Dad joke

For road trips

Dad: Ooh look! A flock of cows!

Kids: It's a herd of cows

Dad: Of course I've heard of cows - there's a flock of them over there!